I really enjoy the 'fruits' of getting up early for the farmers market. Ugh, that pun was disgusting. Seriously though, I did enjoy the farmers market this morning. Fresh bread, and fruit accompanied me back home. I'm a sucker for really good bread, so of course I came home with two loaves, one of jalapeno cheddar and one sourdough. I purchased cherries as well simply because this is one of the last weeks that good cherries can still be found.
Not going to lie to you random reader(s) I'm frustrated. Intellectually frustrated. But that hardly defines the situation. I simply have no idea what I want to do for a future career. I've been raised with computers and technology at the forefront of interest, and yet I still know surprisingly little of the computer world. In the Air Force, I worked on long-haul telecommunications that utilized satellites to support communication globally. After three years of that, I transitioned into metropolitan and campus sized computer networks. I enjoyed that to a certain extent, but never getting to control the parts of the job that were important to me, was frustrating. I think it turned me off to the whole experience.
Now, I'm living with the parents for free rent, and will soon reap the benefits of the G.I. Bill to pay for continuous schooling. The problem? They need a declared major, and won't pay for classes that don't count towards that defined major. So, even if college is the place to take a smattering of courses to figure out what excites you, I can't take part in that unless it's over the full time status. Great. So it's like a form of deterrence if you want to explore what you want to do. For now, I'm dual majoring in computer science and math. Why? Because they're the degrees in demand for IT related positions. I'm getting a dual degree in areas of study I'm not even sure I want to continue on in.
Part of me feels as though I'm merely repeating my past mistakes. I got into computers because my brother, Keeton who is two years older than me liked them. Now, I feel like I'm majoring in math because I feel pressure from my father to do so. Oh, and I got a job as a MATH tutor.
Nothing like diving head first into a pool of uncertainty.
I need to stop venting.
Musical inspiration: Yule shoot your eye out by Fall Out Boy on Take this to your grave.
Yay for Saturday!
Colin,
ReplyDeleteYou're not the 1st nor will you be the last to have this problem. Very few people actually get to do what they love, let alone get paid for it. So find what you love and you'll never work a day in your life. Forget what expectations others have, forget all the pressure,forget about money, find what Colin loves to do and everything will work out.